As much as I love living in the beautiful South, I miss my family back up in Michigan. I get to see them a few times a year, but I still miss them. I especially miss them at times like when my 4-foot-8-inch tall octo-genarian Grandma kicks butt in a bowling tournament that I wasn’t there to watch, or when my Dad is the guest speaker at an Alcoholic’s Anonymous “Open Talk” and I am not there to hear the applause he receives (he’s been sober for more than 4 years now, and he truly has made the most of his second chance), or when my Mom and my Aunts get together for a luncheon, or when my little brother, who’s not so little anymore, buys his first home, and I’m not there to help him move in, or to celebrate with him.
So when that new homeowner little brother, who happens to also be the World’s Greatest Uncle to my two boys, asked me to come to Michigan to help him decorate his new place, I jumped at the opportunity. I especially jumped at it because Southeastern Michigan has been unseasonably warm so far this year, with temperatures right up there in the 70’s with us in the N-to-the-C. I booked a flight right away, weeks ago, and I even started a board with all sorts of things that I thought he’d like, based on the information he’d given me about the space. My brother is colorblind (for real colorblind, not just in the “Gosh, he doesn’t match his clothes, what is he, colorblind?!”), so he doesn’t really know what colors he likes, so I get to have some real fun helping him out. I’ve been excited, and anticipating this trip for weeks.
Until right now. As the time to travel draws closer, and as I prepare to leave for the airport, to do some of my favorite things (shop, and visit my family), I am wrought with anxiety at having to first do two things that I wholly I dread, the first being subject myself to actual physical contact with the government at the hands of TSA, and the second being get on an airplane. No matter how many times I do it, the lack of control I have while on an airplane never ceases to make me want to have a panic attack. Couple that with leaving my own sweet family, my husband and sons, behind at home, for 4 whole days, and well, I’m a nervous wreck. I know I’ll have a good time, but now instead of missing one part of my family, I’ll be missing another.
Which begs the question that always pops in my mind when I prepare to visit the state I was born in: Am I leaving home, or am I going home?
Funny how when I booked the flight, I felt that I was GOING home, but now that the time has come to actually go, I feel like I’m LEAVING home.
It’s all in how you look at it, I guess.
Just like it’s all in how you look at where I’m going.
I’m going to Southeastern Michigan, best known for being the home of Detroit (although there is so much more to Michigan than Detroit that I’ve dedicated an entire board to it). Detroit is fascinating in that it can look like this:
Or it can look like this (see the pin here):
I have seen it hold true to both images, even on the same day, sometimes without traveling more than a few city blocks. I can be two things at once, both full of possibilities and seemingly devoid of hope, at the same time.
So, if a place can be two things at once, I guess the same is true for home. My home can be Michigan, and it can be NC. Maybe the reality is that I’m leaving home AND going home at the same time. And then Monday, God willing, I’ll be doing the same thing when I head back South.
Oh, and if you want to say any prayers for me to have safe and smooth travels, I would be very thankful.
Hope you have a great weekend, wherever you decide to go 🙂