Wordplay Wednesday: Let’s Clarify Something

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Did your parents ever caution you to not believe everything that you read?  Well, I was (and still am) always a reader, so my parents reminded me of this advice on many occasions.  And it’s a good thing that they did, because when I saw this little “motivational” quote, being someone who spent the best years of my metabolism worrying about a nonexistent weight problem, I called bluff immediately.

Dear reader, I don’t know about you, but I can think of 3 things right off the bat that taste better than skinny feels to me (not to mention that they taste 10x better than it feels to be “cranky because I’m not eating anything good because I want to stay skinny”.  Believe that.).  And the first thing to come to mind is bacon.  Not the turkey bacon crap that I wore my teeth down on for decades, but real, crispy, fatty, pork bacon.  Bacon on burgers, bacon with eggs, bacon on salad, bacon on stuffed jalapenos… not quite ready for bacon dipped in chocolate and candy sprinkles, but besides that, oh yeah, bring on the bacon.  Did you know that there’s even a Bacon of the Month Club?!  Further proof that bacon is fantastic.

The next is ice cream. Again, I’m referring to REAL ice cream, not the “dairy dessert” that you buy in the freezer section at the grocery store.  Ice cream, as in, made with actual cream. Seriously.  You gotta be careful and read labels, unless you want to waste your time eating a poor quality imitation.  Believe me when I say that the first time you eat the real stuff, after months or years (or a lifetime?!) of eating the fake version, your eyes will dilate out in pleasure.  If you live in or plan to visit North Carolina, do yourself a favor and stop by a retailer that sells Homeland Creamery products to pick up some of their Chocolate Reese Cup ice cream.

Check out the other flavors of ice cream that they offer here.

Or, even better, plan to take a tour of the Homeland Creamery’s farm, and while you’re there, buy a big container of Chocolate Reese Cup ice cream.  And some of their chocolate milk.  Go big or go home, right?  Don’t worry, you can buy bigger jeans anywhere, but you can only get ice cream that makes you want to cry with sheer overwhelming pleasure  at a select number of retailers in NC.  Seize the day, baby.

The third that comes to mind is a locally produced Granola called Gorilla Grains. You can only get Gorilla Grains locally in the piedmont region of central NC, and one of the places you can score it is at the Saxapahaw Farmer’s Market, which runs on Saturday evenings from May through August. I know, it’s a long wait until next year, but trust me, it’s worth it.  They often have kid’s activities and live music, plus good local eats to take home and enjoy.

Check out these pictures of the Saxapahaw farmer's market, where you can score Gorilla Grains and many other locally grown and made products.

I first tried Gorilla Brains when my friend Patty over at South of the Fork offered me some at a picnic just a few weeks ago.  I couldn’t get my hand out of the bag, literally, it was as if my arm was independent of my brain, I’d look down, and there it was, grabbing another greedy handful. Then, God love her, she sent a full bag of this sinfully delicious treat over to me as a gift.  What was I going to do, say no?! Don’t you know that it’s bad manners to refuse a gift?  I had to eat it… maybe not the whole bag in under 48 hours, but hey, I’m not perfect, and this stuff is as good as it gets.

So you see, the whole notion that “Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels” is a pie in the sky dream that we may tell ourselves when we are scrambling to lose weight for one reason or another, but because our taste buds know we are lying, it’s only a matter of time before the jig is up. Moderation folks.  A little bit of bacon for breakfast, a little bit of ice cream as a snack and a bag of Gorilla Grains to get you through the day.

Or something like that…

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